endless cycle

my life:
fasting, fasting, eating, crying and feeling terribly guilty,exercising as much a si can which means (in the morning, walking and taking the LONG way to get anywhere, exercising again in the afternoon, and yet again at night until about1 until i am so fatgued that I fall asleep), fasting for most of the day, eating a few bites of something in te afternoon, a few MORE bites of something at night and still trying to feather-in my exercises.
Needless to say Im tired, on top of all of this sits exams and projects, day-to-day stressfull things and that I atill look disgusting.
Oh yes, I look as horrible as I have ever looked, im whopping 126 and believe me as Im writing this # out the reality of how heavy I am makes me vomit. Too bad I dont have the actual ability to purge, never have been able to and so I have to suffer in guilt ridden tears, exercising or fasting. In the mirror I dont look ANY different even though some clothes are too big now and people around tell me Im thin, I dont see it, not at all.
I was in the car today and was so hungry that I started srying, it was just so frustrating but then I reasoned with myself how ridiculous it was to be crying for food, so I finally stopped, grabbed a cup of coffee and 1 veggie patty thats has about,,150 calories, BUT I did an hour of aerobics right after I ate and I read somehwere that 1 hr of aerobics burns 300 calories, so I hoping that I wont gain any weight. Im pretty low on energy these days, and what energy I DO have I spend on exercising so I guess thats all for now, let me know of any pro-ana tips that would help with stress in times like these.

TakeCare,
Superstar

Roller coaster daze

I started fasting, which I had not done in quite a while to be honest. It lasted a week or so and I have truly been up and down physically and emotionally the whole time. It just takes a toll on your system and will take a bit until you can start yourself back up again. So in my fast I lost 3 lbs. Which is good considering it took only a week. I am back to my 100-200 calories or less a day diet. However I have taken up my exercise a notch, adding a 1 hr walk + 2 hrs of aerobic/floor exercises to my workout. Of course these are all additions to ballet classes 3 times a week. Hopefully the added exercises will compensate for me not being on a fast, I really feel bad that I stopped the fasting though. Its just that I did not have any energy to do ANYTHING, and with my schedule, school and working, it was just too hard. I think I will do fasts again but this time shorter maybe 2 days at a time will be easier.
Well I gave it my best, and its not like I am letting myself go right now, so hopefully I will continue losing weight. My goal weight at the moment is 110, right now I'm 128, so wish me luck.

Kisses and Hugs,
Superstar

Tips, anyone?

I have been asked about tips for fasting, so here goes ==>

**Delay eating solid foods for th elongest time you possibly can, so do somethingthat will keep you busy instead, go out shopping, take a dance class, paint, watch a movie, do your hair, talk on the phone,,, basically distract yourself.
**drink lots of coffe, and diet pepsi, they will keep you pumped up and energized
If you HAVE to eat someting in front of your family then eat a tiny bit, in other words dont eat all day until lets say-8 pm that everyone lese is eating and then have some vegetables or something, let that meal be the ONLY calories you take in that day
**thinspiration, look at pictures of kate bosworth and nicole richie, watch movies like "center stage", there are SO many people that "CAN" do what we are doing and have control over their body , so I find observing these people can also be very helpfull during fasting
**avoid things & places that will trigger you to eat, dont go to the fridge, walk through the food court in the mall, open that bag of chips,,,
**dont wear stretchy pants and baggy clothes, wear tight clothing and look at yourself in the mirror, you will see exactly why your are fasting and trust me will definately lose your appetite

Do you have any tips?

FAST WITH ME

I have decided to go on a week long fast starting today, Thursday. The only things that are permitted are, water, coffee, tea, diet pepsi and 5 saltine crackers/day.
WHOS WITH ME? I know we can do it, Im positive that this will knock off at least 5 lbs. if not more.
So tell me about your fasting restrictions and tips, Id love to hear from everyone.

Out of CONTROL

I am feeling very very down today. I didn't eat anything except water and coffee all day until about 5 or 6, and then I had about a cup of rice at dinner with my family. I feel so sick. So disgusting and ashamed for eating anything at all. I will never reach my goal weight if I continue on like this. I feel so sad that I could take a knife and just cut myself up any second now.
I don't know what to do. How could I give in? Why wasn't I strong enough to resist? This is all so bad, I should not have done this. Meanwhile even though I'm a size 4 now, my legs still look like tree stumps and my whole body is so disfigured that looking at the mirror is painful. The most agonizing part of ballet class is looking at the girl in front of me with the PERFECT body, and then having to look at myself in the mirror head-on during center work. I'm dreading going tomorrow.
I feel really really sick.

PRO-ANA WEBRING

THINTHINTHIN

Im sick and tired of all these disgusting fat women walking around everyday. Shoving food in their mouths with bulging bellies wearing stretch pants beacause their fat asses cant fit into ANYTHING anymore, they dont have enough control over their cow like appetites to put down the frankenstein inventions offered in Mc Donalds & See's Candies and take a GOOD look in the mirror, its not the pants honey, its YOU.
DUMB BITCHES.